The number one thing I was looking forward to when arriving in Phoenix was the heat. In the 10 years I lived in the bay area, I never left the house without my jacket, because regardless of the weather during the day, the evening was always a few degrees too cold. It was a mindless habit, like grabbing my phone, wallet, and keys, and one that I thought would continue for the rest of my life.
The second thing was cactuses. I had this preconception of Phoenix being primarily rocks and cactuses, and I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen a full-size cactus in real life. And those succulents everyone collects in San Francisco do not count. I’m talking about the kind of cactus that inspired the cactus emoji 🌵: the Saguaro cactus.
Phoenix did not disappoint.
First of all, WAY taller than I expected them to be. This one in particular is 16 feet tall, and looked like it had a long, healthy life ahead of it. Secondly, I did not expect them to look so much like the emoji. It really is one massive green column with the occasional side-column (arm) poking out of one of the sides. Every cactus looked like a caricature of one.
At that height, the pictured cactus must’ve been around 100 years old. According to the National Park service, a Saguaro cactus will reach it’s full height of about 45 feet tall after 200 years, and there is no way to predict how many arms will come out of it. It could possibly never grown arms.
I’m sure you have the same questions I did, so let’s get those out of the way.
Yes, the needles that cover its body are very sharp, and do in fact hurt very much when you touch them.
No, the body of the cactus is not hollow, and consequently no, water will not pour out of it if you cut one down.
And no, birds do not give a fuck. This is not like those bird spikes they put on the roof of Caltrain stations. Birds genuinely do not care about walking on spikes all day.
Not only do birds walk on cactuses like it’s nothing, it was impossible to find a Saguaro without a hole in it, because there’s a particular kind of woodpecker that lives in cactuses. The ultimate Phoenix getaway.
The state of Arizona is in love with these cactuses, and it’s easy to see why. They’re like regular trees, but with the leaves and the trunk fused together. The Saguaro cactus in particular is native to the Sonoran Desert. It takes 70 whole years before this cactus will produce its first cactus flower, and yet that flower happens to be the state flower of Arizona. You will mostly only find these cactuses in Arizona, but once here, you will see them everywhere. Of course I’ve spotted them on hikes, but I’ve also seen them growing naturally on the side of the road. My favorite place to see them, though, is in landscaping.
If I ever purchase a home in Arizona, this is how I will decorate my yard. I’m addicted to this aesthetic. No lawn that has to be watered and trimmed. No weeds that have to be pulled. Just sand-colored pebbles and cactuses. And maybe a few giant palm trees that really don’t belong there.
