It’s only day 3 of living in Austin, Texas and I’ve already eaten more BBQ than I have in my whole life. And no, I haven’t eaten BBQ for every meal since I got here. This was all in once sitting.
Yes, the meat here is served by the pound. Off to the left you’ll see that sides are optionally served by the gallon. So far, Texas is living up to its motto. I ordered the beef brisket, the pork sausage stuffed with jalapeño cheese, and one Flintstones-sized beef rib, which I am just noticing now is the most expensive thing on the menu.
Would you like that doused in barbecue sauce?
Before I could process what was being offered, the man stabbed the slab of meat with a fork and dipped the entire thing in a vat of simmering Texas BBQ sauce. I realized then that this sauce must have the juices of every piece of meat ever dipped in it, and I held a moment of silence for every animal that died honorably to bring its unique flavor to my meal tonight. He then transferred the dripping meat to a sheet of paper on a tray. The portions here are too large to be contained in any single plate.
Ordering my sides really tested my restraint. After I ordered one “serving” of mac-n-cheese, the server asked what else I wanted. How could this man possibly think there wasn’t enough food on my tray? It was starting to get too heavy to carry. Luckily, I glanced over to my left and my friend had ordered seemingly every other side on the menu. Green beans, potato salad, more mac-n-cheese, and apple cobbler. The only side on the menu we didn’t order was “beef sauce”. My friend was gonna need some help finishing his sides, I correctly predicted. I added a bottle of water to my tray and slid over to the cash register.
At checkout, the cashier explained the eating procedure, because I looked obviously from out of state. There are no plates, just large sheets of paper. Eat on the shiny side. Crumple it up and throw the whole thing out when you’re done. You’re welcome to complimentary slices of white bread, unlimited pinto beans cooked in a vat of salt pork and onions, and of course, more barbecue sauce. He tells me all this after I’ve already paid for other sides.
I doubt this needs to be mentioned, and I debated not including this paragraph at all, but the food was excellent. The rib meat literally fell off the bone before I got a chance to sit down. The pork sausage was oozing with spicy cheese on every bite. The sides all had their own distinct personality, and clearly included many more ingredients than their names seemed to suggest. Truthfully, as I was sampling everything we had ordered, I would sometimes forget which meat was in my mouth, because they all shared the same signature flavor of Texas, and it was all equally great. The cobbler was phenomenal as well—not too sweet, with lots of contrasting textures. A significant percentage of the cobbler was what I can only describe as apple goo.
As you can imagine, I didn’t finish it all. Not even close. I expect to be working through these leftovers for the rest of the week. I boxed everything up, poured myself a fresh bowl of pork-n-beans for the road, and tossed in a few more slices of white bread for good measure. I suspect I’ll be back, but not for another few weeks. It’ll take that long to digest.
My bank just sent me a notification that my credit card got deactivated for suspicious activity. I don’t blame them.